Don't Shoot the Albatross! by Jonathan Eyers

Author:Jonathan Eyers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2012-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

Things not to do on board

Harbourmasters may be officious, but they are kindly uncles compared to the gods, and once a boat passes the breakwater she is in the gods’ jurisdiction. The most important thing not to do after leaving one port is to talk about the next. A sailor who talks about his destination as if taking it for granted that he will get there risks displeasing the gods. It’s very presumptuous to assume the boat is safe from the wrath of the sea en route, and talk of where she is going may tempt the gods to prove otherwise. Don’t even count the number of nautical miles left to go; don’t refer to such distances in definite terms. A sailor should talk only of headings, not destinations. It’s fine to be trying to get there – he should just be aware that it’s at the discretion of the gods if he ever will.

On a small boat there are usually more important things to worry about than a pedicure. However, male sailors should also be aware that the archetypal salty sea dog doesn’t just wear a beard to make himself look rugged and manly. Cutting hair (including a beard), fingernails or toenails is forbidden whilst on passage. Invariably the cuttings will end up in the sea. In Ancient Roman mythology these were considered offerings to Proserpina (known as Persephone in the Greek pantheon), but the sea being Neptune’s kingdom, these offerings to her would make him jealous. As usual, his response took the form of a deadly storm.

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